Sheryl Mays - Speak Up Women Conference 2022

How to Walk Beyond Your Fear When You Have Something to Say

What have we been conditioned to do? How would life look if we could express our thoughts, our feelings, and our emotions without the fear of being judged, misunderstood, or rejected? It’s an interesting question. Why? Studies have shown that “The average toddler hears the word “no” an astonishing 400 times a day. Kids who hear “no” too much have poorer language skills than children whose parents offer more positive feedback.” (Redbook, 2008) Why is this study the basis for this conversation?

Because we were conditioned that certain things were bad for us

…and, others knew what was “best for us.” They said things like, “It’s for your own good,” so we didn’t move beyond our fear. We were told not to.

So here we are, waiting on others to allow us to feel, telling us what we will do and how to think about what we are doing. This movie loops for so long that you forget you have a voice, you forget how to dream, how to believe in things not possible. You begin to settle for less — less than you deserve, less than you want, and less than you need. You begin to feel unworthy. Contently, you rest, waiting for “your one day” — one day when you will speak, one day when you will share your thoughts. One day when you will tell your partner what you want in your relationship. One day when you will speak up in a meeting. One day when you will ask for that promotion. One day when…but when is that day?

F.E.A.R (fantasied experiences appearing real)

You see, fear stops that one day from happening. We can live with one of two thieves: regret of the past or fear of the future (Oliver Wendell Holmes). Either will stop you from speaking your truth when you have something to say. Fear can be paralyzing. Fear can be a dream killer, a goal crusher, daunting, and stifling; but it can also provide a safe place, excuses,  and comfort. It’s that faint whisper that tells you …no.

Fear can be your friend — unless you want more!

Unless you believe you are worthy of the dreams and desires of your heart. Unless you believe that you are enough. Think about the years of not allowing that inner champion to surface as you remained quiet, as you settled for less than you deserved, as you allowed others to make decisions for you, when you didn’t believe in you. That champion was within you, but you weren’t strong enough to call it forward …until today!

So today, allow yourself to be unapologetically bold. Move beyond your fear and walk into what might seem impossible, all the while saying, to yourself, three simple words, “I AM ENOUGH.” Don’t allow fear to push down the abundance you deserve, the success you are worthy of, the gifts that have been placed within you. Rise to the level of your expectations and don’t been limited by logic. Allow that Champion to surface and allow that Champion to take you to the next level.

Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to produce those results. (Tony Robbins)

Did you know that success leaves clues? If you ask a great coach or thought leader, they will say, find a person that is where you want to be and emulate their actions. Here’s where I’d like to place a twist on that concept. YOUR success has left you clues. You have made it through the bittersweet of relationships, the upheaval of life ups and downs, the missed opportunities, the unsaid words, and today is the day to say, “I’m moving beyond my fear, because I have something to say.” Now let’s get it straight: just because you have a seat at the table doesn’t give you a voice. That voice has to come from you. You MUST give yourself permission to speak your truth.

What’s in your future is greater than anything you’ve seen.

There is power in positive thinking. When you look at the world from a place of opportunities, a place of curiosity, a place of expectation, and a place of gratitude, you will see changes in your world. It starts with how you speak to YOU. Speak words of encouragement, words of excitement, words of peace, and words of love. Write them on cards and place them in your wallet, on your car dashboard. Give yourself a constant reminder that you are the most valuable jewel that exists. Scientific studies reveal that a diamond is heated, squeezed, and pressed before becoming a beautiful gem. You have already been heated, squeezed, and pressed. Today, you are diamond ready.

A mind stretched to a new idea, never goes back to its original dimension. – Oliver Wendell Holmes.

Your someday is here. It’s now. It’s this moment. Sometimes the seeds need the right rain to bring the fruit out of the soil. No longer can you allow others to speak for you. If you needed a sign to ensure this is your someday, here you go. YOU ARE ENOUGH! MOVE BEYOND YOUR FEAR! SPEAK UP!

Some journeys are meant for a travel mate, a trusted guide. I too was silent, but today I help others find that champion that allows them to speak their truth. I help you embrace confidence that allows you to be unapologetically bold. Realize you have what you need to walk into your impossibilities as you confidently move beyond your fear.

Learn more about Sheryl and her journey at the Speak Up Women Conference.

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