February 16, 2016

Guest Post from Michelle Tillis Lederman, Panelist, How to Speak Up & What’s Holding You Back Panel at the Speak Up Women Conference

The Law of Giving (Law #10 from my book The 11 Laws of Likability) is a concept that I get exuberantly passionate about when sharing it.  I’ll say, “Give first, give often, give without expectation – giving creates value.”  I was excitedly sharing this concept during a talk on networking, when a woman in the audience loudly grumbled, “I’m tired of giving.” She threw her hands up in the air and continued, “No one ever gives back.” I paused quickly trying to determine why this unlikely result was occurring and coming up empty. Then I questioned, “What have you asked for?” With a look of something between surprise and confusion she thought about it for a moment and then, a bit deflated said, “nothing.”

Dress side shot cut Headshot RT  11LawsLikability-HiRes

It is hard to ask for what you want, but you’ll never get it unless you do. I always say, “If you don’t ask, the answer is no. If you do ask, you immediately increase your odds.” We can’t expect others to read our minds and know what we want (and yes, that includes our spouses.) So let’s talk about how to make ‘the ask’ easy so you can get what you want with the least amount of stress.

First, get clear on your fear. Are you worried you will come off as pushy or annoying? Do you feel guilty that you never did anything for them? Are you worried about jeopardizing the friendship or making them feel uncomfortable?

If any of these sound familiar, choose a strategy to counter your concern. Below are five pressure-free ‘asks’ that snuff the stress out of these situations for you and the person you are asking the favor of.

  • The “Give Them an Out Ask”: When you make this type of request, be sure to give the person an easy way to say ‘no.’ For example, “I am interested in learning more about the day-to-day responsibilities of your job and the company you work for. Would you be available for an informational interview? If you are too swamped with work, though, I understand.”
  • The ‘Alternative Ask”: Give the person an alternative like, “I would love to hear more about the project you are working on. Are you available to talk about it? If not, maybe you can suggest someone else I can talk to.” In this approach, you are giving the person options.
  • The “Shrinking Ask”: This is when you ask for something specific and also offer up a ‘smaller version’ of the favor. You can say, “Are you free to meet for lunch next week. If not, would a phone call be easier for your schedule?”
  • The “Convenient Ask”: Make your ‘ask’ easy to fulfill. The idea is to put the completion of the request on their terms. One way to do this is, “I’d love to set up a time to meet with you next week. Would it be easier for you if I stopped by your office? If so, let me know a day and time that work for your schedule.”
  • The “Non Ask”: Sometimes you can present an opportunity for someone to help without making a direct request. This concept was inspired by Judy Robinett, author of How To Be A Power Connector. When you share your goals and seek advice or ideas you allow other people to make an offer of help without having to ask. For example, “My goal is to make The 11 Laws of Likability a best seller, any advice?”

The only way to get what you want is to ask for it. Most people want to help you but don’t always know how. Consider that in one way you are helping them when you give them the opportunity to help you by making it clear and easy. Keep in mind if they want to say “no,” you want to protect the relationship so let them know it’s okay. Next time you are hesitant to ask try one of these techniques and go ahead and ask for something you want. And let me know what happens!

I look forward to meeting you at the Speak Up Women Conference on March 5th at the United Nations and hearing about your experience!

 

 

Michelle Tillis Lederman, (www.michelletillislederman.com), author of The 11 Laws of Likability and Heroes Get Hired, is the founder of Executive Essentials, a training company providing communications and leadership programs.

Michelle’s has appeared on CBS, NBC, Fox 5, and over 100 radio shows nationwide including; Gayle King, NPR, and Martha Stewart Living. She has been quoted in the New York Times, Working Mother, US News & World Report, and Monster.com among others. Her book, articles, quizzes and videos have been featured on USA Today, AOL, Forbes, CNBC, and About.com.

She received her BS from Lehigh University and her MBA from Columbia Business School. Connect with Michelle at Twitter.com/mtlederman or Facebook.com/MichelleTillisLederman.

 

Social media Links:

Websites: http://www.michelletillislederman.com/ , http://www.11lawsoflikability.com

http://www.executiveessentials.org/ and http://www.heroesgethired.com/

Blog: http://www.michelletillislederman.com/blog/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleTillisLederman

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/communicationexpertspeaker

Twitter: https://twitter.com/mtlederman

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/MichelleLederman


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February 8, 2016

Meet Tai Beauchamp, a Panelist on the How to Speak Up & What’s Holding You Back Panel at the Speak Up Women Conference happening at the United Nations on March 5th, 2016!

An influencer, public speaker, media personality and entrepreneur, Tai engages women around the world with her genuine approach to celebrating inner and outer beauty. A publishing industry veteran, Tai’s expertise in media and fashion was solidified through her experience as a beauty and fashion editor at Harper’s Bazaar, Good Housekeeping, O, The Oprah Magazine, Seventeen and at Vibe Vixen Magazines. After years of consulting with international philanthropist Ray Chambers, Tai launched her media company, Tai Life Media, LLC to more holistically connect style and empowered living. TheTaiLife.com, a content platform aimed to inspire women ages 22-45 in every aspect of their lives is Beauchamp’s latest venture.

Tai Beauchamp, Panelist - How to Speak Up & What's Holding You Back
Tai Beauchamp, Panelist – How to Speak Up & What’s Holding You Back

Since 2006, Tai’s creative talents and style authority has become the go-to for national and international consumer brands. She has partnered with and served as an ambassador, expert, content producer, and event host for companies including Procter & Gamble, InStyle, MSL Group, Pikolinos, Target, Universal Records, the United Nations, and Wal-Mart among others.

A motivational speaker, Tai engages audiences on topics ranging from Entrepreneurship to Girl Power to Stylish Living and 21st Philanthropy. She’s delivered messages at The Clinton Foundation, Harvard Business School, Spelman College, Columbia and Howard University and as far as Lagos, Nigeria. She contributes on the boards of WIE Network, Harlem’s Fashion Row and The New Jersey Performance Art’s Center Women’s Board of Trustees.

A lifestyle guru for major TV networks and print media, Tai has appeared on NBC, E!, BET, ExtraTV, The View, The Chew, The Wendy Williams Show, and TV One. She is the former host of The View’s “Must Have Monday” segment, a lauded red carpet correspondent for the Grammy Awards and the Academy Awards and most recently the host of TLC’s makeover show “Dare to Wear.” She has been featured in O, the Oprah Magazine, Life & Style, and Essence. Tai lives in New York City.

 

Join Tai as she shares her insights
during this important panel about
How to Speak Up & What’s Holding You Back
at this amazing inaugural event!

For more about speaking up, watch
this video of our founder, Jennifer S. Wilkov, talk about
why it is so important to speak up and
the impact you can make when you do.

Go to www.SpeakUpWomen.com to learn more and
to register to attend the Speak Up Women Conference
at the United Nations on March 5th, 2016


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February 3, 2016

Meet Judy Goss, the Moderator of the How to Speak Up & What’s Holding You Back Panel at the Speak Up Women Conference happening at the United Nations on March 5th, 2016!

Judy Goss Headshot 1 2015 (3)
Judy Goss – Moderator, How to Speak Up & What’s Holding You Back Panel

 

An experienced TV personality and radio show host who has hosted her own shows, interviewed A-list celebrities, appeared on countless TV shows as a News Correspondent, Lifestyle Expert, Author, Spokesperson and Women’s Advocate is currently the host of “What Women Want” on LA Talk Radio with 30,000 listeners/month.

As a More Magazine Editor/Better TV Correspondent Judy was chosen to interview celebrities such as former first lady Laura Bush in a private sitdown and also hosted her own show on Better TV. Judy also had the pleasure of interviewing other notable women such as Barbara Corcoran, Nora Ephron, Jean Chatzky and even stars like D.M.C. from the famed rap group “Run-DMC” and many more. Judy regularly appears on networks such as NBC, ABC and FOX news shows.

As the author of “Break Into Modeling for Under $20″ published by St. Martin’s Press, Judy achieved national press and acclaim for her book being touted as the “go-to guide” for anyone wanting to venture into the modeling industry.

Judy also founded the nationally acclaimed organization Over 40 Females®,” a live and online networking community to “Connect, Encourage and Inspire” women over the age of 40 all over the world. In the press constantly because of Judy’s background, Over 40 Females has become a force to be reckoned with in the women’s networking industry.

Working as a modeling agent led Judy to become an editor for Cosmopolitan and then More Magazine. After only two months with More, Judy was selected to be their national media spokesperson which was a catalyst to her hosting career. This position included a vast and varied array of interviews with radio, television and print where she traveled across the country doing beauty and fashion segments along with representing their nationwide model search for women over 40.

 

Join Judy as she moderates this important panel about
How to Speak Up & What’s Holding You Back
at this amazing inaugural event!

 

For more about speaking up, watch
this video of our founder, Jennifer S. Wilkov, talk about
why it is so important to speak up and
the impact you can make when you do.

Go to www.SpeakUpWomen.com to learn more and
to register to attend the Speak Up Women Conference
at the United Nations on March 5th, 2016