Guest Post from Bonnie Bruderer, Emcee and Mistress of Ceremonies at the Speak Up Women Conference
It’s funny, I never used to get what I want. I was always the person that would “go the extra mile”, help others, do more than expected. You would think this is a great way to get ahead in life, but the truth is, it is not. I never seemed to win or create the type of success I was looking for.
You see, not everyone is a good person. Don’t get me wrong, there are tons of good people and unfortunately tons of bad, too. I often found that I was giving more that was right to some of the bad sometimes, and this cost me from being able to create what I want in my life. In fact, through much of my career, I had to work in situations where I had to work with some people that fell in the “bad” bucket.
I will admit it, full transparency, that I have gone down wrong rabbit holes with wrong people. You know, those kinds of decisions you make in life where you have that nagging feeling, from the second you made the decision, that is was not right. Then, you allow it to keep gnawing at you, as your head for some reason nods “yes”, and you keep getting deeper and deeper. That feeling when you are asked to do yet another thing and your eyes fill up with tears and you can just taste it in your mouth. I know this is not just me, right? It is amazing how many times, from the age of babysitting days, where the parents would call and say they were going to be a few hours late, when you had a swim meet at 6 the next morning, to CEOs who expect you to drop everything and work through the night and weekends on their dreams.
Well, then I learned something. I think it was more of an “I’m gonna snap” than a learning, but I got myself into a situation where there was nothing else to do but SPEAK UP! Then, a funny thing happened. It worked! I got results. People started respecting the boundaries I would set and not taking advantage.
Bonnie Bruderer, Executive Producer, theASKBONBON Show
Then it was like fuel. I started to speak up in all areas of my life, and you know what? Everyone started reacting differently. I had boyfriends apologizing, people changing patterns of always being late, not working with certain clients, because they did not align with my vision.
Speaking up became a verb and now it is used daily, for everything. Business meetings, scheduling, even my dog, when she wants to go play and I am working. I say what I mean and always back it up by meaning what I say.
I was not able to create a successful company and brand until this happened, and now I have built a team and a network where this is the “norm”. It is not unusual for meetings to be filled with people voicing their “speaking up” and we get more done and everyone is happy.
I look forward to meeting you at the Speak Up Women Conference on March 5th at the United Nations and hearing about your experience!